Dangerous Philosophy

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the boss
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Dangerous Philosophy

Post by the boss » Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:15 am

Alright. This is for all you people here who value growth, and who are able to change. Beware. There are one way streets with dead ends on the road of change. I've encountered one of them, dealing with my ISFJ girlfriend over the last two years. She seeks stasis. That would be cool, she's awesome in nearly every way, except... I couldn't constantly deal with the fact that she would never, ever, ever change a single thing about herself. Big stress factor. So, I changed, and changed, and changed... tied to a rock that would not budge an inch no matter how hard we butted heads.

And through that, seeking harmony, one day, I arrived at the following philosophy:

A thought that occurred to me a while back, and coming from me, is quite shocking. I'm someone who values change highly. Adapt or die. Grow or stagnate. Perfection is the end of growth, is death. Something to be strived for but never reached.

But then, it occurred to me, dealing with a woman who couldn't be more resistant to change if she was frozen in time. There is value to traditionalism. There is a value to conservation and conservative attitudes.

Coinciding with my believes that every fault is also a virtue, and every weakness is also a strength, that all traits we possess are double edged, I realized that we are all perfect already as we are, moving from one state of perfection to another in growth. But if that is the case, then growth itself becomes irrelevant.

The irony that this thought in itself is a sign of growth isn't lost on me. Through it I could accept the inability, or unwillingness, of someone else to, and it allowed me to accept them just as they were.

Is this a good thing, or a bad thing, I'm not sure. I'm not sure where this insight will lead me in the long term, if it will survive the Darwinian exposure of experience in reality, but for now, it's there, and it feels like there is another realization connected to it just beyond the horizon of my understanding.

I'll see what'll come of it, in time.

Well, after extensive experience, let me tell you where it leads to. A Relationship full of harmony, and without any energy. Boring, pointless,... dead... for all sides involved. Growth is the very pillar of my believe system, and I discarded it. Without that, I no longer had a drive. Stasis is an absolutely awful existence for someone who grows just by being who they are... and forcing it on yourself in order to create harmony is a bad idea that leads nowhere good.

I'm back to trying to change her again. And within just a week we were back to having the fire and passion back that we both loved in the first place.

I've leave it up to you to draw your own lessons from this :)

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Re: Dangerous Philosophy

Post by Artsu » Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:31 am

Life is an alternation of opposing forces, however this does not imply that nothing is worth anything. The implication to the realisation of this tao like aspect of life should not be to become lifeless, but rather to learn how it is you pursue life with to fullness. -You- are not the cycle, rather you are a Spirit which happens to be moving through the cycle. The key is to realise which aspects of reality are to be left alone to their own accord, and which you are meant to put your energy into.

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Re: Dangerous Philosophy

Post by philosopher » Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:07 pm

the boss wrote: But then, it occurred to me, dealing with a woman who couldn't be more resistant to change if she was frozen in time. There is value to traditionalism. There is a value to conservation and conservative attitudes.
For the sake of conversation, what value do you see towards conservation and conservative attitudes? I myself can only think of loyalty and duty, but everything outside of that becomes a valueless stagnation against my life.

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Re: Dangerous Philosophy

Post by Morris » Sat Jan 14, 2012 2:54 pm

I am to tears over this Philosophy paper.

My topic is "Why is Philosophy dangerous"...I am to find the paradox within that topic.

I have went with "When in search for reality, you lose sight of what is real around you while getting closer to what the reality is that you are seeking." I don't even know at this point where to go from here... I have to write about one side of the paradox and then the other. In the last part, I have to combine the two.

I hope that is a concrete paradox.

I am suppose to bring in references to Philosophers that have written and/or believe what I am writing about. Do you have any suggestions? Who are some good Philosophers?

Any help? I am lost and it is an online class, the support is limited. It's so overwhelming.

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Re: Dangerous Philosophy

Post by Dohavior » Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:18 pm

If you wish to surprise one whom truly knows you then you will sooner be surprised yourself... because they know you, we already established that point. <--- This is a literal hole in your mind.

There is something called Opterant Conditioning. When considering Risk one can measure both gains and losses, and when considering Reward one can measure both gains and losses. Conservatism is about mitigating losses. Statistically speaking your betting practices may be flawed. You may wish to read up on Decentralization, and Self Sabotage.

True love requires all of your being, so lets get humpty dumpty back together again!

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Re: Dangerous Philosophy

Post by Healer379 » Wed Nov 11, 2015 5:39 am

I've had those thoughts - about perfection in opposite ways.

For me, internalizing the idea that there are different and individual ways of doing things, was an opening into a relationship with an increased, greatly increased, amount of acceptance and trust.

Change is important for me too. But realizing that I cannot change another has been a step in growth that I will forever cherish.

The wish to change another comes from love - a desire to be close, in my subjective way of feeling close (ex: she likes boating, I like hiking - I try as I might to make her like hiking instead of boating)

What makes the other feel loved, comes from my respect. When I appreciate that they are an individual with separate experiences and sets of traits, I allow that person to feel accepted just the way they are.
When that is the foundation of a relationship, for me, the love then shared is a lot more beautiful and intimate.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

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