My Writings ACTUAL

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Entity
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My Writings ACTUAL

Post by Entity » Fri Jul 17, 2015 1:10 pm

Due to request from potatotoro, I will be posting my ideas for some stuff I'm writing here. BE AS CRITICAL AS YOU FEEL NECESSARY. This is just a bunch of ideas for characters and scenes for my stuff. I want your best criticism. Don't sugarcoat, but some praise would be nice. Just tell your honest view. I don't even know the genre of my story, so this is in no way a finished product. Thanks, and have fun!

Entity
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by Entity » Mon Jul 20, 2015 1:14 am

Okay, let us begin! My story starts in 2022 A.D., when natural disasters ravage the world, greatly altering the landscape as we know it. Governments dissolve, and communities unite to fend for themselves. My tale concerns North America, where the U.S. and Canadian governments are no more. We start in a small town in Northwestern Iowa, with our ESTP Protagonist. (Town name ideas are welcome) The ESTP, Cadoc, is sent to the town hall, where he meets two mercenaries. Those mercenaries are the intimidating Xerxes (ENTJ) and the stern Vespera (ISTJ), who warn him of a man named Dirk Highrope, raising money and building his own fascist empire with the hopes of restoring the continent to an aristocracy. It turns out that Cadoc was selected by the head of the (name idea?) Service, which is a system of mercs & assassins who restore peace and calm the wrath of the widespread gangs. Continue-
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potatotoro
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by potatotoro » Mon Jul 20, 2015 1:50 am

sound interesting (:where are the mercenaries from?and whats the name of the head guy/gal of the society? that might help with naming it.

Entity
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by Entity » Mon Jul 20, 2015 2:18 am

Okay, so Xerxes is a tall, muscular black man from a mining city in the northern Rockies, and Vespera is from the Bureaucratic Community of Chicago, which is the result of Chicago becoming self sufficient at the break of the disasters. It's populated mostly by dutiful, hard-working people, all with assigned roles, playing their parts for the good of the whole. Xerxes was assigned the role of Ranger, minimalizing gang activities and guarding innocent cities. Vespera was assigned Assassin, so she had to kill the right people at the right time, like drug lords and mafiosos. I haven't decided the name of the (INTJ) boss, but I think I might name him Aldric Something. I want his last name to have an air of power and nobility, so I'm still searching. Now I'll get back to the story. Thanks for the input!
Last edited by Entity on Sun Dec 27, 2015 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"A penny saved is a penny you keep." -Me

Entity
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by Entity » Mon Jul 20, 2015 2:32 am

So, Xerxes and Vespera take him to the Service headquarters in former Ontario (eh?), where the head (name pending) explains to them their full mission to assassinate Highrope. The only hint given as to why Cadoc was chosen is that "his skills compliment that of his teammates". Fast forward some time, and the group arrives in what was once Buffalo. After the disasters faded, a group of Intuitives built a city out of the shells of Buffalo, making it a stronghold of technology and art. Soon, though, people grew jealous of their success, and there was a revolt where people destroyed the city and made it a proverbial Gangsta's Paradise. In that commotion, an inventor and his wife, with their infant child, were shot dead. The child was spared, because no thug had the heart to kill a baby. That baby grew up orphaned to be Siv, a short, young INFP who joins our heroes. In an odd coincidence, taller people survived the disasters, so the standards for height were raised, thus Siv (5'6") is berated for her childlike youth and height.
"A penny saved is a penny you keep." -Me

potatotoro
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by potatotoro » Mon Jul 20, 2015 4:57 pm

nice.

Entity
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by Entity » Mon Jul 20, 2015 5:46 pm

I forgot to mention, Vespera is Hispanic. So anyway, they meet Siv, and they head for the foothills of the Appalachian mountains. They cross over the mountains and head south. Eventually they reach the town Silverhollow (located in former Virginia), which is usually full of merchants, traders, and festivals. But that day is an exception. The city is completely empty, with no one to be seen. They reach the city hall where they find a table with four items on it: A broken skull, broken guns, a dead duck, and a note. The note is from Highrope, describing how he evacuated the Silverhollow residents, gave the guns to a reckless teenager, killed a man, and killed the duck, all for the sole purpose of messing with them. Xerxes is angered at the murder of the said man, Cadoc is enraged at the mishandling of the guns, and Siv is distraught about the ducky. Confused and angered, the group takes resources and makes for the Eastern Forest, which encompasses North and South Carolina. [I plan on making something or someone attack them in the forest, but I don't know what].
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Entity
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by Entity » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:01 pm

Afterwards, they keep traveling until they reach the Floridian Bay. (In this story, Florida sank :D and left a large bay in the Georgia area.) They pay a ferryman to give them a ship, and they set sail. On their second day of sailing, Siv wakes everyone up, ecstatic due to the fact that it's Christmas Day. She gives each person a pair of two rings as gifts, then continues to be hyper. Also, she had been bringing a Santa hat the entire time just for Christmas. Everyone returns to their duties, and they eventually arrive at the shore. The rest of the story is just put together non-chronologically, so everything is scattered after this. But that's a brief summary of all what I have story wise.
"A penny saved is a penny you keep." -Me

potatotoro
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by potatotoro » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:59 pm

cool! so you have an ending in mind already.right?also whos the dude in the picture?

Entity
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by Entity » Wed Jul 22, 2015 12:38 am

Yes, they infiltrate Highrope's base by using Siv as a distraction, then at one point the other three come in and kill him. A skirmish-battle takes place in the building, and they eventually escape with the () Service. Siv can play the fife, too, but that's irrelevant. Anyway, the man in that picture is Jon Jafari, better known as JonTron. He makes videos on youtube of him criticizing video games, and sometimes movies or TV shows. I'm a huge fan, and I just wanted to post a picture on this thread, so I thought, "Why not JonTron?"
"A penny saved is a penny you keep." -Me

potatotoro
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by potatotoro » Wed Jul 22, 2015 6:59 pm

cool ending.

Entity
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by Entity » Wed Jul 22, 2015 8:15 pm

Thanks. I'll probably post more soon, just miscellaneous parts of the story.
"A penny saved is a penny you keep." -Me

potatotoro
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by potatotoro » Thu Jul 23, 2015 3:14 pm

I have no idea what the word means but ok.

owiekapowie
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by owiekapowie » Thu Jul 23, 2015 8:32 pm

I assume you mean miscellaneous, it basically means random

potatotoro
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Re: My Writings ACTUAL

Post by potatotoro » Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:01 pm

the more you know.

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