Something I wrote

Music, movies, books...
potatotoro
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Re: Something I wrote

Post by potatotoro » Wed May 27, 2015 10:36 pm

Image
my reaction

owiekapowie
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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Wed May 27, 2015 10:56 pm

Man I thought it was decent, but Gandalf worthy now that is one of the best compliments i have ever gotten

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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Wed May 27, 2015 10:57 pm

The Abyss is your friend, The Abyss is your enemy
When alone it is there to sit beside
When together it is there to pull you away
Do not look to the Abyss
Do not run from the Abyss
It is there to give you a place when you are without
It is there to take your place away
Do not give to the Abyss, Do not take from the Abyss
The Abyss will Give and Take, But it is not a place for you or I
The Abyss is your friend, The Abyss is your enemy
It takes what it wants, It leaves what it wants
The Abyss is my friend, The Abyss is my enemy

owiekapowie
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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Wed May 27, 2015 10:58 pm

Wind blows and leaves follow,
The mountains turn to fire and then wither and die,
As snow falls the earth sleeps,
As the snow melts the world wakes,
The wind blows and the leaves hold strong,
The mountains bloom and sing,
As rain falls a new beginning follows.

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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Wed May 27, 2015 11:00 pm

now we are starting to get into the older stuff so it could be alittle less enjoyable, and when i get to the last one i will let ya know, hopefully i wont disappoint, but uhh yeah i haven't been writing to much lately so there may be somewhat of a dry spell before i come up with something new, though i could start throwing incompletes up that i have lost an interest in writing more of

potatotoro
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Re: Something I wrote

Post by potatotoro » Thu May 28, 2015 2:06 am

my favorite so far have been burn burn away and the seasons one!(all of them are lovely though)
I don't mind you throwing incompletes out.have you ever thought aabout writing a book,or a short story?or do you mostly just write like this?
also on a scale of 1-10 how well do you take criticism?

owiekapowie
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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Thu May 28, 2015 2:11 am

i can handle criticism on a relatively decent scale, around a 6 or 7 i think, but i am incredibly harsh on myself for almost all things creative i do, mainly writing and cooking. I have thought about a short story or book, but i have the issue of i come up with something cool but get bored and stop it, or i lose the spark i suddenly had and i lose what i was writing, so i now mostly just write this type of thing.

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Re: Something I wrote

Post by potatotoro » Thu May 28, 2015 2:34 am

wow that is so like me!I love to draw but sometimes if I try to draw something that takes a while I get board and move onto another drawing.and I respect peoples criticism but I tend to dwell on it to much some times.I mean not everyone is gonna think the same way you do and like the same things you like.It's not like I have anything to criticize about your writing, I love it so far!but I mean hey, if your gonna be sending ruff drafts and incomplete stuff (which I hope you do) you probs wont be getting any more gandalf.just saying...;)

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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Thu May 28, 2015 2:41 am

well i can say all of this is "rough draft" cause it all happened at one moment, but i am totally fine with that, in my opinion i have thrown out the best of what i currently have sooo yeah, i will put something else up momentarily

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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Thu May 28, 2015 2:44 am

started but haven't been able to pick back up

I will tell you what I am and how I came to be if you will listen to this story of mine....
Chapter I

It was a day like any other, I think I was twenty at the time... I remember I was walking home; my scooter had broke down a day or two ago, so I didn't have any other way to get around.... There was a red car driving by, with his windows down and music blaring, it really was annoying... I had a small radio, I was listening to the news, really the only thing you could listen to because it was on every channel... The big talk was that Russia had gathered a few allies, Italy and France I think, with a few other smaller places as well. They had finally made the first assault on Britain, they were making a via for power in Europe, which with everything that was happening was looking more and more like World War III everyday, it was because of this that everybody was starting to get scarred. It had been seventy years since we fought in the Second World War, and everybody knew that we were heading towards this war.... While I didn't find anything in particular that I cared about for this war, having given up on America and its "Dream" a few years ago I really didn't see any point in caring if Russia took over,I was still holding to the fact that we wouldn't be stupid enough drop nukes on each other what with M.A.D in play, which I guess I was right about.... Well aside from all of this, before everything in the world, this was the day that I got the letter in the mail telling me I had been drafted, saying that I was going to be signing my life away for a country I didn't care about, and one that didn't care about me.


The Darkness has come, but not a though you would think....
Chapter II
Light, the first thing I remember was light. We had been fighting where Aushwitz formerly stood, me and my squad of five. After jumping in we had lost our way, in the wilderness it was a Godsend that I had found anyone let alone Sarge Johnson, and four others I didn't know, though at that point I wasn't complaining, the jump was about as bad as the one on DDay at Normandy, nobody got where they were supposed to, and on top of that we had five hours to regroup and assault what was thought to be the Russians forward base of operations, which of course was defended like we were walking on Moscow. Well after getting to Sarge we started heading towards the ruins that were the infamous death camp Aushwitz. It was funny, of all the places that the Russians could have taken past their forward base, they took this place that was supposed to be deserted, I mean completely empty, but that is not how things worked out for us.

As we came into view of Aushwitz we started seeing movement, at first not much, but as we got closer we saw that there was at least a battalion of troops there, if not more. It was at that point that we decided that we would try and sneak around, Sarge said that we needed to get this info to base, and I had to agree, if they were doing something here then we could have a major problem. It was right then that a lone Russian soldier decided to walk up to where we were to take a piss, and right as he got his business done he saw us, in a heartbeat Sarge grabbed him and shut him up, but it was to late, he had already alerted his buddies, and they saw us too. Sarge yelled at us to run, and run we did, through a hail of fire, as we were running two of the guys with us fell, me and Sarge stopped to grab them, but the were both dead before we could. After we saw that we got up to run but a group of seven or eight Russians had us surrounded, they looked at us and told us to get down on the ground, we did as we were told, and they took us to there commanding officer, he asked us rather kindly if we were the only ones here, and after we said yes he sent us to holding cell like area they had fashioned in one of the buildings that weren't completely destroyed. We sat there for a few days, and then one night the man in red came.

Pain and Misery, though not broken man can only take so much....

potatotoro
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Re: Something I wrote

Post by potatotoro » Thu May 28, 2015 2:52 am

chilling...what year is this supposed to be in? roughly, like way in the future or just a couple years....

owiekapowie
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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Thu May 28, 2015 2:58 am

truthfully im not sure, it kind of was at a our point in time but parallel universe type thing where after wwII things changed drastically

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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Thu May 28, 2015 3:02 am

There once was a mad scientist, bent on creating a creature of his own. This man was always mystified by the dark wings of the Raven, and the curiosity of the Cat. One day while in a more psychotic mood than most, the idea came to him to merge the two beings that fascinated him the most.

When he finished his thought he knew what must be done. The man went to out to find the Cat and the Raven. after finding these two beings and taking them back to his lair he began his project.

So it was that on this particular day that two beings became one. When the man finished his creation he cried out its name "The Craven"! A beast unlike any in the world, the head and wings of his beloved Raven, and the body and curiosity of his beloved Cat.

There was one thing that the man did not know to expect, because his creation was that of a Raven and Cat it would be known that the two that became one flew to freedom. Whether fueled by curiosity or the want to be free none can say, but what can be said is that this creature unlike any in the world could see things that no other being could.

It was with this power that the Craven found that which no being now knew about. You could say that he found this place fleeing the man that created him, out of fear perhaps, but that is neither here nor there. What is known is that once the Craven entered this forest it was never seen again to our mortal eye.

Through the forest it flew, singing of freedom, while looking at everything curiously. The Craven flew until dark and then flew some more. It was after the Craven landed that he discovered that he was lost in this place. With no where left to go he decided to fly farther and deeper into the forest, as it got darker and darker still.

It was through this darkness that the Craven came to a place that was not of this world. A place where the trees were darker than the darkest night, and the ground a gray almost as white as snow. Though the Craven saw these thing it was not they that entranced him, it was the eerie light that was coming from deep within the forest. With all haste the Craven flew to this light Curiosity overwhelming him.

When the Craven made it to this place it saw a figure. Imposing and dark yet somehow it looked as if this being was there to guide it. When the Craven flew closer the being reached out and in a soft and chilling voice it said " Now you have had your fun, it is time to leave". It is with this that the Craven fully understood what had happened, and that it was the one known as Death that stood before him.

All the while the Man was sitting in his room crying over the corpse of his beloved Raven and Cat who once fused together breathed only a single breath. It was some time before the Man left the room, and when he did he closed the door forever.

potatotoro
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Re: Something I wrote

Post by potatotoro » Thu May 28, 2015 12:44 pm

sounds like an old fable...what would the moral be?If it ain't broke don't fix it.his curiosity killed his cat?
I love stories like that (:Image

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Re: Something I wrote

Post by owiekapowie » Thu May 28, 2015 1:01 pm

My thought process was that all life is a journey and though we the living may not be able to see what has transpired doesn't mean that there isn't a continuation of the journey into death, I have been utterly fascinated by life and death and the cycle between the two for a long time, and it has brought to me the thoughts that death is but another step into life, whether that is reincarnation, eternal joy and happiness, or whatever other religions say, every ending is but the beginning of a new chapter into who or what we are.

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