Dating my own type...wow this is hard.

Do you haz relationshipz? Do they huurt?
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LawlzRose
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Dating my own type...wow this is hard.

Post by LawlzRose » Wed Mar 13, 2013 2:01 am

So. I've been dating my current INFP boyfriend for three months. He suffers from bipolar disorder. I met him during one of his highs. Lately, he's gotten to a really low point. He's always crying, moody, angry, and out of touch. He and I haven't talked in a month. Me being my very anxious self am afraid to talk to him, due to his outbursts and ignoring attitude. He won't look at me, doesn't talk to me. I really know that for you to deserve someone at their best you need to love them at their worst, but he's being so difficult. I think I might be falling for him. Well I did. Now I'm stuck. My friends say he's doing the cowards break up and that I should avoid him now. But I'm not sure. His sister is always telling me how fond he is of me. I just...need some plan of action. Should I talk to him? If so, how do I get him to listen and what do I say? Or should I just leave it alone and see what happens?

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4Eyes
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Re: Dating my own type...wow this is hard.

Post by 4Eyes » Fri Mar 29, 2013 2:34 pm

I'm familiar with people with bipolar disorder, so maybe I can help. This may or may not work, but it's worth a try, no? Approach him slowly and sit with him. Tell him that you understand that he's depressed and that you know that it isn't his fault. Tell him you care about him no matter if he's in an up or down swing and how much you miss him. Just let him know that you're there for him and that you understand him and you're not there to judge him. If he's okay with physical intimacy while he's on a down swing and he lets you, then maybe put your hand on his shoulder, as it may make him more connected/receptive to you. Again, this may or may not work, but if you care about him as much as you say then it's always worth a try.

subatomicdoodle
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Re: Dating my own type...wow this is hard.

Post by subatomicdoodle » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:49 pm

LawlzRose wrote:So. I've been dating my current INFP boyfriend for three months. He suffers from bipolar disorder. I met him during one of his highs. Lately, he's gotten to a really low point. He's always crying, moody, angry, and out of touch. He and I haven't talked in a month. Me being my very anxious self am afraid to talk to him, due to his outbursts and ignoring attitude. He won't look at me, doesn't talk to me. I really know that for you to deserve someone at their best you need to love them at their worst, but he's being so difficult. I think I might be falling for him. Well I did. Now I'm stuck. My friends say he's doing the cowards break up and that I should avoid him now. But I'm not sure. His sister is always telling me how fond he is of me. I just...need some plan of action. Should I talk to him? If so, how do I get him to listen and what do I say? Or should I just leave it alone and see what happens?
walk away from him and find someone else emotionally available- you are NOT his nursemaid or psychiatrist - I am sorry you will want to hear that your love will heal him but it wont

btw I am not trolling. I was in a relationship with a a woman who was fine at the start but after about 4 months realised she was close to being a clinical alcoholic and she would drink a LOT and then do either embarassing stuff, attempt dangerous stuff or get angry at me or get depressed. She was a sweet great woman when she was not drinking but when I asked her to cut down her drinking or at least see someone about it she flipped and became abusive towards me...I had no choice but to end the relationship :cry: which was hard because I loved the good woman she was...just a shame about her drunken persona

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Zetturn
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Re: Dating my own type...wow this is hard.

Post by Zetturn » Fri Apr 17, 2015 8:46 pm

:lol: Bipolar is bullshit. I believe we all bipolar, It's surviving state, depends what your life was in the past, do you have some traumatic events, That way your bipolar is.
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chairmanmeow
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Re: Dating my own type...wow this is hard.

Post by chairmanmeow » Fri Aug 26, 2016 4:35 pm

Emotional Maturity is key.
Guys are especially hard on themselves emotionally you know, or in the case of depressive states a freezing numbness of the world. A month is a very long time to not talk talk though, you need to exercise self care here I think is what everyone is getting at.... rather HARSHLY! I cant help but think if you were a dude talking about his GF the attitudes might be slightly different about this. grr
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