Hello everyone I need help.
I'm an INFP with an ESTJ son. He's all grown up (30 yrs old), and we have had our ups and downs, but a couple years ago he joined the family restaurant business (at my suggestion), and it was nightmare from almost day one. I couldn't do anything right. I'm the mom, I tried to put that aside, take his advice, etc. Bottom line: after almost two years of working together, and him telling me he has no respect for me as a co-worker (I'm scattered and disorganized, but I have a system and it works for me, and I'm really good with customers, so, for me, I worked around my shortcomings, but it was never good enough for him), so after all this, we had a big blow up, I quit in order to save our relationship (how NF of me), and he very calmly told me on my last day of work that he is done with me. DONE.
That was February.
He is still not speaking to me.
I have given him space, gone in from time to time and waved, told him I love him. He will not let me hug him, won't respond to invitations to holiday dinners with his siblings and me.
I was wondering...
Now that I've made a complete mess of everything...
How might an INFP speak to an ESTJ in his language?
We INFP's are supposed to be good at that sort of thing.
I've apologized, over and over for anything I did, it makes no difference. He says he is over the "drama," and will not have it back in his life.
Drama? Drama? And this, what you are doing to me, this is not drama?? I didn't say that to him. But I wanted to. I just want him back in my life. He's my son. I birthed him onto this planet. He's part of my soul.
Okay, so if you are still reading, and know any ESTJ's personally that you might ask, or have actually solved conflicts with them yourself, could you give me some pointers?
I've gone into a deep depression from this. I can't let him know that, because that might be seen as more 'drama.' I need help.