Describe yourself at your worst

[Tytteas]

Aimless, unmotivated, lazy, depressed, reclusive, avoidant, envious, self-neglecting, insecure, hopeless, low self-confidence, restless, discontent with the world, existential ... well, this could be a pretty long list! And I definitely spend more time unhealthy than not, so it's kinda started to feel like normal... which is a very unfortunate step, because you forget what real, healthy you is actually like, and it becomes so very hard to fight for a brighter future.

[Zetturn]

At my worst, I try to poison people. Or just get in their food whatever comes to mind like my piss...

[Draco]

Realistic, and unable to see past my own self and insecurities to get to the bottom of problems. I can never get to the bottom of anything regardless, which leads me to be self destructing because I can't find the answers to anything SEEMINGLY complex. I'm also envious as hell and I can't blur anything else out to see that my road is my road and while we all may be connected with each other I have to pursue my own interests rather than the interests of others.

I'm basically at my worst everyday.

[crow]

How is any of that 'realistic'?

I have no best or worst. Only degrees of what I am. I can rage in terrifying violence towards people, or comfort a dying wasp.
All of it is good, because all of it is as good as I can make it.

[Entity]

Yeah, I felt unable to post because I don't see myself in varying degrees of goodness, only spurts of motivation and emotion.

[chad]

o at my worst im bad,destructive behavour,..drugs drinking,cutting myself,writing poetry,listning to music,disapearing from everyone

[Entity]

Welcome. Come as you are.

[potatotoro]

writing poetry is cool though.
hmmm my worst. I think I can be a bit preachy, I procrastinate like there's no tomorrow, and I avoid people just because people.

[crow]

I avoid people too.
Spent far too many years trying to understand them and have them understand me.
Now I just don't care about it.
Far better.

[Non]

I can think myself to sadness by creating problems that don't exist.

[crow]

It's not just you; you do what ego-minds everywhere do. Until they discover how not to.
After that, its fun and games.

[CarahINFP]

-Emotional
-Emotional bursts of anger
-Name Caller
-Very Self Aware, maybe low Self esteem. I tend to think that I'm in the wrong when in an argument with someone... and i feel very bad... then I talk down to myself about myself...I tell myself that my opinions are invalid.
-Procrastinator
-Extreme hermit tendencies - Don't call people back or answer the phone.. and don't open up to people.
-I hit extreme lazy spells

[synapser]

Hello forum,
This was an enlightening read. Looks like the thread kinda fizzled already, but I just joined.

I am only me and nothing more, but I think of myself at my worst when I'm suicidal. This feeling is typically precipitated by my perception of reality. I feel hopeless when faced with current events. Frustration at the absence of organized efforts to effect change in American democracy. Corruption of our government and the instilled culture of fear leaves with the thought that this is not a world want to live in. When that combines with personal setbacks, unexpected change, loss, or stress I sometimes contemplate suicide. Outwardly, I tend not to change much. I still function quite well, but suffer in my mindful moments. I feel lonely, oppressed, discriminated, hopeless, and calm. I'm alive because when I he this way I contact my healthcare team, friends, family, and/or use distress tolerance activities.

I have been struggling with this kind of difficultly for many years. Right, now I'm in a particularly conflicted position. I probably spend about 75% of my time in this state.

[crow]

I'd normally offer encouragement, but since you have judged me to be "shallow and short-sighted", I won't bother.

[synapser]

I make confusing vague statements about thte delusions in my mind I've rationalized previously as my imagination as I start to wonder about the possibility of their reality. I then begin to behave erratically on a train of thought that is wildly disconnected from what could reasonably be seen as rational to anyone except myself. My ability to communicate disappears into this fog of overly emotional reactions to delusions I've slowly started to accept as rational. I feel a sensation throughout my brain of bubbling and popping that is really hard to describe. I seek medical attention and usually don't get the help I need. I break promises that I never thought I would be capable of breaking. I'm gripped by a hatred of life in the face of the terrified reality I've imagined only to find depression taking over as the reality of the lasting damage my behavior at my worst has done to my life again has lead to the loss of what I value most in my life. Finally I become suicidal and hide that reality from the world as I stumbled aimlessly into an uncertain future filled with reminders that this is not a world I want to live in with increasing. Reminders that come with a shockingly increased frequency.